Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
