Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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