I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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