once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
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I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
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you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize