Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is wine microwaveable?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
