he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
