I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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