lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I want a musical about memes.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
