I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just got carded by a ten year old.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
