I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
