5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
