no you cant smoke seaweed
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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