I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
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No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
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You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
is it fun? or sober?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize