Whod you bang
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
