There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
