I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
