note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize