ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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