Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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