I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
