i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
