belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
