Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize