call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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