Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
