I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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