im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
