Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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