Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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