I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
