Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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