so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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