gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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