Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
