i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
nutella sex= disaster
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
