my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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