I love black thongs
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
