remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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