Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Michael Bay diarrhea
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
pray to the hookup gods
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