i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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