i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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