I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
