Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize