i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
