I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
