Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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