We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
