i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
