just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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