Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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