ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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