8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
