I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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