he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Is it penis luge time yet?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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