I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
