If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
