your parents love me but you hate me
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
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The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
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i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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