Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
