That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
